I am, too, depressed. Creativity can suck my ass right now. I think it's the kind of depression though that occurs because major changes are happening around me, and I really don't know how to deal with them. I usually welcome change, but at the moment I guess I feel overwhelmed.

Reasons for my depression : a lot of whining and self loathing, yadda yadda.

1. One of my closest cousins is getting married in February next year. A joyful event, you say? I spent a summer with said cousin, not so long ago, where we had a few discussions surrounding the fact that he didn't want to get married. And not to the girl he is now engaged to. He said he felt pressured because she'd waited for him to fall in love with her since they were teenagers (they are now both in their 30's). This bothers me.

2. reason deleted

3. Grandmother sick. In hospital. Blah.

4. Insomnia.

5. Creative, schmeative. I haven't got a single creative impulse in my body. I usually do ONE thing creative every day, like play the piano or whatever, but lately I just haven't cared enough.

6. Andrea moved out of home. My YOUNGER sister, by TWO YEARS, moved out of home. I am now living at home with my mum. Even though I'm only 20 - and living at home with your mum isn't embarrassing JUST yet - I had planned to move out around this month. SHE is doing what I wanted to do.

In the words of someone vulgar and famous, life can suck my fucking nut.