this is a way of purging emotional baggage. I cherish some experiences in High School, among others, the first time I drank with you, Joli, Yan, Rish, Avhan, Nish... Alleena. That night was fucking crazy, did we go bowling beforehand? The shopping cart. Keeblers roasting on an open fire, an occasion left for another night at Rish's. "Free willy" coming from the radio, running full-tilt screaming girlfriend at each other, it sounds cliched but I would do nothing differently. My memory is shot to bits, but it comes back at the most elegant times. After saying something, it will remind me of something else, and I treasure the nostalgia. I'm not sorry I remember the good with the bad. Because neither would make the extremities of depression or elation quite so attractive.

I'm not trying to renege our friendship. I'm never the only one with insecurities, it just feels that way. Otherwise, they couldn't be insecurities. Those feelings are no longer contemporary, that is why I can casually write about them. If you ask me now, the way I'm treated is directly proportional to how I treat other people. It sounds scientific but it's not. Also, the way I'm treated depends on how I permit other people to treat me. It has to do with doing something unconnected to your agenda and in the end, obtaining a little satisfaction towards that agenda. Serendenpity.